Difficult to Watch

I know there are those out there that say they suffer no ill effects from an experience in Iraq, Afganistan or other theater of battle, but I am not one of those. I am in no way a pussy, nor do i think we should just stop and go home. I know what we are doing is creating a battlespace in which to engage an enemy that desires nothing more that to wipe the United States and Israel from the map.

I have just been watching the Discovery/Times channel and the new series Away at War. The series follows a National Guard Engineer Battalion through a year in Iraq and jumps back and forth from the battlefield to the homefront. There are true heros in the piece and there are those that border on subversives, but the raw truth of the series is so real that I found myself breathing faster and at one point breaking down and having to call my wife. I was suffering a mild to moderate combat stress reaction as I have so many times taught in classes for the Army. The reality of the evnts that the combat veteran has lived will remain with them for the rest of their lives. Many will go on and exhibit no outward signs. Others will have these fleeting moments of emotion and then there will be those that will not be able to continue to function as a normal productive member of society.

I am a warrior. I have proven myself in battle. I have been the angel of mercy for my fellow soldiers. I have bled for our nations cause and been awarded medals for valor. All of that said, the one thing I didn't expect to bring home will be the thing that will stay with me the longest. My life has changed in so many was since my deployment. Oh how I miss the battlefield. Oh how I love my family. The two cause such conflict in my life today.